My Frakkin Blog!

Ryan and I are watching a Fantastic Four cartoon DVD that we received this weekend from NetFlix (no..not an endorsement). The cartoon we are currently watching has the Incredible Hulk in it…here’s the conversation:

Ryan: Daddy. I know what makes the Incredible Hulk so mean.

Me: You do?

Ryan: Yes.

Long pause……………

Me: Okay….so its not because he gets angry about something and then turns into the Hulk?

Ryan: No. It’s because of that rope around his purple underwear.

Need I say more?

Okay..so..I am a night owl. I stay up most nights either doing homework (currently in school working on a Ph.D. in Epidemiology) or taking a break in between and blogging stuff! So..Friday night wasn’t any unusual thing. I’m on my computer on the couch..Ryan is sleeping over on the other couch..as is customary on the weekends cuz he likes to hang out with his daddy and watch all the superhero cartoons..I cycle through Jetix, Cartoon Network, and Boomerang so he can get his fill of Superman, Batman, The Justice League, and Thundarr the Barbarian. He usually falls asleep somewhere between Batman and The Justice League.

Well..Friday he was in a superhero mood. I put him in his Batman pajamas at around 4:30 cuz he was Batman and I was The Flash. Well..he’s only 4. He still has problems with not making it to the bathroom at night, so we still put him in pull-ups. (You can probably see where this is headed). So…as is customary on the weekends..when Ryan falls asleep on the couch…I generally leave him there and I will sleep on the other couch. He wakes up if I try to bring him in the room…then he’s up for another 2 or 3 hours…when I’m really ready to go to sleep..so it’s just easier to leave him on the couch and I sleep out in the living room with him.

Well…at around 7:00, Saturday morning he’s screaming his head off! Sometime during the night..he moved over onto my couch. I thought I rolled over on him and hurt him or something based on the screaming! Well…it was right about that time that I realized that my shirt was wet…then the smell crept in…and…uh oh! My ass is gonna be grass! Ryan is screaming..he’s totally soaked from mid-waist to his toes. I guess I forgot to put him in his pull-ups.

I immediately get him out of his wet clothes…put him in a pull-up, new jammies…then calm him down…enough to get him to be quiet enough for the two of us to sneak into the bedroom and get in bed (he sleeps in a fouton at the foot of our bed on occasion as well)….hang on…we’re still not there yet. I get him in his fouton, cover him up, then proceed back to the living room to at least try to soak up the HUGE wet spot on the couch as best as possible. I guess its at this point I should also mention we have one of those great, new, comfortable, micro-fiber couches. If any of you out there have a micro-fiber couch..you know where this is headed.

I tried my best to get as much of it soaked up as possible. After about half an hour..I snuck back into bed and laid down. I didn’t get to stay asleep for that long. I heard another blood curdling scream…kinda muffled..but very clear..coming from the living room!

Mary: Bob! What the F….? (I pulled the covers and pillows over my head at this point). I could hear her coming in…those tiny feet sure hit the ground pretty hard!

Mary: Bob! Didn’t you put a pull-up on him?

Me: (pretending to be groggy at this point, voice muffled by pillows and covers) What?

Mary: (ripping my protection off me) What the hell is wrong with you?

Me: (still pretending) huh?

Mary: You know he needs to be in a pull up at night! You’re gonna clean that up and you better hope it hasn’t ruined the couch! What the F?

Okay..fast forward a few hours..I find out on the Internet that you can take urine odors out of micro-fiber couches with a combination of water & white vinegar…and sprinkle baking soda on it..let it dry…then vacuum. Or..so..that is what it says.

I’m calling a professional company on Monday!

I found the link above over at The Tampa Pirate. This is most definitely a link that all parents need to have bookmarked.

We here at the Frakkin blog having our own children are all about passing on valuable information such as this to our readers. Please check this link out and keep it handy and available! It’s a great resource for finding out if you have any of “those” types of offenders in your area as well as some great safety tips (other than locking your children in doors until they are 18!).

That’s my little darling to the left there. I’ll put up the “pity pictures” tomorrow showing off her little splint and sling. Well..she did very well today considering!

Our day started off at 4:45am. We had to be at the hospital by 7:00am. We live that far away! We also had to drop of my 4 yr old, Ryan, at the pre-school by 6:00am. Everything started off okay — everyone was just very droopy eyed. We got Ryan off to the school okay and battled traffic all the way down..but we got there in time.

We got into registration and signed in at 7:00. We were done there by 7:25 and the triage nurse took us back by 7:30. A Nurse Practitioner came in and did an assessment, took vitals, and explained the process a little more. We were done in there and moved to a holding area by 8:00. At 8:30 the Anesthesiologist, Nurse Anesthetist, and the Dr. came to explain everything to us. Did you know that along every step of the way they keep verifying everything? We must have been asked her full name, her birthdate, and what procedure she was having done at least 10 times. I asked the Dr. about this..especially the part about everyone asking what she was having done. He says they all know what is being done…they just want to make sure we know and that it is part of the verification checks and balances. Then he wrote his initials in blue marker on her left arm indicating this is the arm he was to be working on.

They all left and the OR nurse came in right behind them. I carried her out the door while they rolled the gurney. At the door I handed her over to mommy so she could get some hugs and kisses. Mommy handed her over to the OR nurse and she immediately began screaming. We heard her the entire time we were walking down to the post-op waiting area. This was at about 8:45. The receptionist in the post-op waiting area directed us to another private waiting room where she said the Dr. would come and talk to us after everything was over. We got in the waiting room, turned on the private TV, and I opened up my school books. I comforted Mary..pretty much going…”yes” “mmhmm” “sure” “its going to be okay” and all the other things hubbies say to their wives when they aren’t really paying that much attention. I was trying to study. I read about three pages when the physician came in and set everything was done. I think that had only been about 15 minutes. He said what took the longest was the anesthesia and making sure she was out. He said the “snapped” the bone back in place, checked to make sure it was stable, then wrapped her up arm up. I think he spent more time explaining everything to us than the amount of time it took to fix her up. We were especially relieved to find out they didn’t need to put a pin in her arm.

So..to make a long story short…she was fine, the surgery was fine, I was fine, my wife was still a nutcase (as mommies are in these situations)…we went and got a bite while she was coming out of the anesthesia, came back, sat with her for about an hour for them to make sure she was eating and drinking and then we left. That was at 11:00. So..all told, we were only there for 4 hours. Kylie has been doing fine all day..except for doing that toddler thing..you know..falling down and bumping into things.

Let’s see, she bent over to pick up a DVD case she dropped, and fell into the entertainment center…she now has a little square shaped scratch on her cheek.
She was running out of the kitchen and tripped…she now has a fat lip from where she bit it.
Her brother was swinging some beads around (of which we kept telling him to stop) and she walked right into them…she now has little circles on her forehead where she got hit.

She’s supposed to go back on Monday to see the Ortho for a follow-up assessment and then they will put the waterproof fiberglass cast on once the swelling has gone down. The problem is making sure she doesn’t kill herself before we get there on Monday and making sure mommy doesn’t have a complete meltdown trying to protect her!

Like I have anything better to do at 3 frakkin 30 in the morning? So..now that I’m going to be too frakkin tired to do anything of value at work tomorrow…here I sit, blurry-eyed, staring at my blog!

Seriously, anyone else have this problem? I keep saying in my head..okay..5 more minutes, then I’ll go to bed.

Let’s see..I think I first said that at around 10:30pm..yesterday (?) night? Holy Frak Batman!

Ryan is sleeping on his Elmo fouton in front of me…while I sit here on the couch..bloggin again! (He came out at around 12:30…wanting to know why I wasn’t in bed yet. To which I said…”Don’t worry about it. Why don’t you just lay down on your Elmo couch and watch Superman.” That was it…he was out!

ANYWAY…I think I just figured it out…I never should have set this house up to be wireless…now I can be comfortable anywhere I blog! Frak!

Well..gonna sign off..going to bed….in 5 minutes.

Or so my wife lets me believe sometimes! Well..since the older kids have been moving out…we’ve been slowly converting the upstairs rooms into rooms for the young ‘uns and a play room. I thought..great…we’ll move Kylie upstairs and I can finally have my own “office!” I can move the desktop computer into that room and decorate it however I want.

I had planned on putting up all my Pittsburgh Steeler’s stuff (major Stiller Fan Here!)..and I could put up all my awards and medals I earned while I was in the Air Force. I would put a lounger in there, a Flat Screen TV, just lots of cool guy stuff! I had my man palace all planned out!

Ryan got his room a couple months ago. We had already converted one of the rooms into a Pooh Playroom. Kylie finally got her room last week. Mary worked so hard on that room to make it a “girly room.” Wow! Talk about PINK! The walls are pink, the borders and closet doors are a PURPLE color, we just had PINK carpeting laid and all the bedding, dressers, book shelves etc have PINK in them! What a Room! We had planned on working on actually getting her to sleep in her room until she broke her arm this past weekend. I guess for the time-being she still gets to sleep in our bed and I will have to wait for my room…at least that’s what I thought!

Okay..so Queen Mary has shown that while I may be the King..she actually rules the Roost! I can never stand up to her. She had plans for that room well before I even started thinking about it. Oh well..When all you FRAKKIN think about is football, sci-fi, battlestar gallactica, cartoons, etc…you lose out! She’s always so far ahead of me as far as planning stuff goes. While we agree that the computer is going in there…decorating ideas is a little different. Let’s just say…there isn’t going to be any BLACK and GOLD anywhere! Oh well…while I know how to make the money..she’s much better at spending it!

I guess I’ll just keep my little corner in the closet for now!

A few weeks ago there was an article titled Adults Having Sex With Children is Okay published over at The BoBo Files that linked to another website.

Well there’s a lot more going on! Check it out over here at Tampa Pirate. They’ve organized a boycott/protest along with a petition signing effort. You can get the image that I have on the left side there and place it on your site.

You have to see this to believe it! It was bad enough that John Stossel was supporting a pedophile pervert..but, we have Disney involved as well! Make sure to go to the Tampa Pirate’s home page also to see the video follow-up..then get your image and sign the petition.

Here’s the website that started it all Disney 20/20 Boycott

After you guys read my posts below..come back up here! (Okay..so, I know you really didn’t go and read my previous posts then scroll back up!)

Anyway…as I travel through this blogosphere..I have been seeing some really cool blog designs customized towards everyone’s specific blogs. I found this template out on the web somewhere..this is not a standard “blogger.com” template. It’s a pretty simple design..but I would like to customize it to be able to add a picture or some other design up there in that heading…see the really blank spot to the upper right? I need something there.

Now..I used to own my own websites many moons ago. I do know how to program in html. Looking at the html in this template…its not html…looks similar..but its not. So..if anyone can help me..you can see the contact info down below to the left at the bottom.

1. I want a really cool template that I can use in blogger. I want to be able to have like one main column on the left and two columns to the right for placing the ads and the other stuff like over there on my left side right now. I’ve also seen some sites where they have like 2 things side-by-side in one box. I want to be able to do that.

2. I want to be able to customize this, or any other, template to be able to add my own images or design in the header. How the heck do I do that? Can I do that with someone elses template design such as this one?

That’s it..two simple requests. Is there anybody out there that can help? If so..please contact me. And..if you like what I’ve written on this blog so far…please leave comments so that I know that someone out there is reading…better yet..subscribe to the feed.

Thanks!

P.S. Has anyone else noticed that my adsense ads all seem to be related to Battlestar Galactica? That’s pretty funny since the title for this blog comes from a made up profane word from that show! What a hoot!

Well…we took our daughter Kylie to see the pediatric orthopedic today. Her arm is most definitely broken..poor thing. I saw the x-ray. Her ulnar bone is snapped in half. The ends are pointing up and touching, much like the tip of a triangle. Man, that has got to be painful for her. Good thing she’s on that tylenol with codeine stuff..considering the way mom has been handling this whole thing…I think she needs to take some too!

Well..on the way down to the ortho (it was about 1 hour away) the wife and I got into a discussion about everything. We’re both pretty stressed about this. Other than my daugher breaking her arm, we were supposed to leave on Wednesday to New York. My wife is supposed to be a bride’s maid in her friend’s wedding. That obviously is not happening now. Just some quick background…Mary is a stay-at-home mom. She takes on the entire household! So..while we were driving down to the ortho, we were discussing everything, the stress we’re under, etc etc. Well, after she rattled off a few things from her list of things to do..I said, well..you can do it..after all, you are supermom! To which she replied..I don’t have a cape. The peanut gallery in the back spoke up..and only as a 4 year old could..said “Or the suit!”

Okay..so..he provided a little levity to the whole situation..for the moment. Once we got down to the ortho office..Ryan became the hyperactive 4 year old that we know him to be. Good thing there was no one in that waiting room..he was running, screaming, climbing over all the chairs, teasing his sister..you name it. Sure, we kept trying to correct him. It got to the point where I had to hold him on my lap..which only made him scream some more. I finally spotted the kids books on a table way on the other end of the room. He agreed to let me read some to him. Well…good thing we were in a doctor’s office. Remember in the previous post I mentioned that along with my wife..both of my kids are very accident prone. He was sitting on his knees in the chair next to me as I read the book to him. I don’t know what got into him…for whatever reason…he just fell off the chair. Face first. Right onto the floor. Well..that caused him to let out a blood curdling scream! My wife, who is already in tatters over my daughter..who was trying to complete the pre-appointment paperwork (must have been about 10 pages worth!)..looked at me and said..”What the F…k?” Which definitely got my attention! She tossed the paperwork on the floor in order to get to my son. I was already there..picking him up in my arms. She assessed the situation..saw the blood coming out of his mouth, took him…no, yanked him from my arms, hugged him some more and demanded that I finish the paperwork. Good thing he only bit his lip..and the lady at the front desk brought out lots of paper towels and some ice.

I don’t know..maybe I need to get someone into my house and cover everything with bubble-wrap…and make sure they leave enough for me to wrap up the kids too in case they want to go somewhere outside of the house! Okay..so..back to Kylie. We were given 3 options…1. He could put a splint on now and “mold” it to see if he can work the bone back in, 2. Sedation at a later date with a closed reduction, or 3. Sedation at a later date with a pin. (Actually, he presented it as a 3d option but in reality he says he’ll do that as a follow up to option 2 if option 2 did not stabilize the bone.) We took option 1. He molded, she screamed, Mary cried (BTW - Kylie is on Mary’s lap, while in the meantime I’m trying to keep Ryan from poking my eye out with some stupid Nemo spinning flashlight thingy). They took an x-ray after option 1…it failed. Kylie is scheduled for sedation and closed reduction this coming Thursday. I’ll tell you about my hassles with Hotwire later and trying to get a refund. In the meantime…I’ll update everyone on Kylie on Thursday.